Cameras and Trees

On rediscovering passions, letting yourself be an amateur, and thought-created realities

*I shared this song last week, and I’m sharing it again! a) it’s that good b) it’s very fitting for this week’s essay.

I often take so many pictures on my semi daily walks in Central Park, that an onlooker might mistake me for a tourist. Just random, haphazard snapshots. Mostly of the sky, sometimes of trees.

Recently, I was struck by the beauty of the fall leaves, and very frustrated that I couldn’t capture the depth of the colors with my iPhone camera. The leaves were much more beautiful in person than I could ever convey with a photo. I’m sure there’s a life lesson here about being in the moment.

I took the pictures anyway.

I was trying to get a shot of a tree with these gorgeous yellow leaves, when an actual photographer (or just a woman with a fancy looking camera) appeared across from me, seemingly doing the same. Out of nowhere, I got embarrassed. I was tempted to put my phone away. She’s a professional. I’m just taking amateur shots on a casual walk. I am not a photographer.

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When I was a kid, I took a photography class at summer camp, and was given the assignment to take a picture of a piece of jungle gym equipment from as many different angles and perspectives as I could think of.

I did the assignment somewhat thoroughly, but I was also a little impatient. I probably could’ve taken way more photos.

I remember how much I loved the dark room. The smell, and the mood. And I loved the weight of the camera in my hands.

These days, my phone is full of photos. I love taking candids of my friends. I especially love getting a great shot of a kid and sending it to their parent as a special memory that they can have later.

I also love a picture of a photographer, posing with their camera. The person behind the lens. I love when a photographer is centered as a character in a story, like Camilla in Daisy Jones and The Six (a really cool change in the limited series, that wasn’t included in the book!) or Bea in The Sunset Crowd. (Personal plug for this book - my wonderful, brilliant friend Karin Tanabe wrote it and it’s magic.)

I’ve also always wanted to be the subject of a really elaborate photoshoot myself. Getting new photos when I launched my website a few years ago was truly a dream come true. Except for waking up at 3:30am so that I could get glam and head down to Chelsea at sunrise. That wasn’t a dream come true. The fatigue was very worth it though.

All photos by Adeline Artistry, who I can’t recommend enough. I have received countless compliments on these photos, and the best part is that I felt so myself, and just really truly comfortable in my skin while taking them.

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Instead of letting my intimidation win, I stayed by that tree and took more photos. I got reacquainted with this often overlooked, somewhat forgotten passion of mine. I took pictures of the tree from a lot of different angles. I even ducked under a few branches. And I loved every second of it.

Right before going on this walk, I read a bit of Super Coach, 10 Secrets to Transform Anyone’s Life. We’re on last chapter in my coaching book club, and this week is all about hope, and how our perceptions can affect our realities.

We have no way of knowing what’s ‘actually’ going on in some imagined real world - we can only take in the second-hand smoke of our own thinking. And that means we’re all living in separate realities. Not separate interpretations of a ‘real’ reality, but seven billion individual overlapping creations.

Which is why someone can apparently look at the same things we’re looking at and come to different conclusions. We’re not actually looking at the same thing. They’re looking at their own thought-created reality.

-Michael Neil

That photographer I came across in the park took completely different pictures than I did. She also spent far less time with the tree than I did. Maybe she took a few photos and felt satisfied. Maybe she took an amazing shot immediately. Maybe she wanted to move on to other landscapes.

But I saw something different. I wanted to explore.

It doesn’t matter that that woman is more experienced than me. Or at least, in my thought-created reality she is. Do you ever make up back stories for strangers? In my mind, this woman is a photographer for a renowned nature magazine and also develops her own work on the side, and sometimes does celebrity portraits. She went to a very fancy photography school. She has a dark room in her house. And her photos are hanging in some very cool places.

Despite all this, we both saw different things when we looked at that tree. We were attracted to different elements. And we captured them in different ways.

Let yourself be a passionate amateur. Make time to explore the passions you’ve been ignoring, or even pushing down. Let yourself love them again.

I am not a photographer.

And that’s okay. I love taking photos anyway.

And I’m really proud of this shot. I love this shot. This is a damn good shot.

PS Those are the trees that I couldn’t capture the beauty of enough to my liking at the beginning of this walk. On the way home, the street lamp did wonders to illuminate the vibrant yellow of the leaves. There’s a message somewhere in there about darkness, light, and patience, I’m sure.

One more photo that I really liked from this walk. I’ll share more over on instagram (@wildcozyfree)

I wasn't even trying to take a picture of the sunset when I snapped this. I was actually taking photos of these little flowers in the gate when the pink clouds emerged. I’m sure there’s another message here, about beautiful things appearing when we least expect them, when we’re fully wrapped up in some other worthwhile beauty.