No More Playing Small
Saying goodbye to the chest of clothes that don’t fit anymore, and other things I’m letting go of during my eating disorder recovery.
TW: explicit discussion of eating disorders and body dysmorphia. It’s okay to skip this week if you need to ❤️
My ‘Oy with the Poodles Already!’ Gilmore Girls T-shirt no longer fits me comfortably. Neither does my ‘In Omnia Paratus’ one. They’re tight in the sleeves, and cling to my forearms. I want to snap my fingers and shrink my torso so that I can fit into them like I used to.
But I can’t do that. I’ve outgrown them. And that is a bitter pill to swallow.
I refuse to part with these beloved shirts. I’ll save them for my future children, or turn them into artwork, or maybe just keep them as a souvenirs.
But I can’t do that with all of the clothes I’ve outgrown. All of the old clothes that don’t fit my new body. My new, healthier, bigger body. The body that holds more weight because I am eating healthily for the first time in my adult life. The body that I am building each day, as I recover from an eating disorder that I thought I left behind years ago.