Runaway
On escapism, alternate realities, and building a life I don’t want to take a vacation from.
I think my life might be better if I lived in Colorado, mhm
Sit around and get high, sippin' some white wine out the bottle (bottle)
I’d throw my phone into a lake
And watch it sink to a better place, down at the bottom
I think my life might be better if I lived in Colorado'Cause maybe there I'd like myself
Work on my mental health
Might even feel compelled
To sing karaoke
Down at the local dive
And meet some young ex-wife
We'd start a brand new life
And never be lonely
I’m a Native New Yorker, and I’m obsessed with my city. Growing up, I constantly joked that I’d never leave. I love my apartment. I live blocks away from some of my closest friends. I have a regular coffee shop with the best oat milk chai you could ask for. I live minutes away from two large parks. Life could be worse.
And even so, I still fantasize about moving whenever I travel. I love to get away - from my life and myself - even when things are going relatively well and there are only a few, minor, solvable problems. I’d rather abandon ship. I’m a good swimmer.
I sleep way better when I’m away from home, which surprises most people. And I love to run.
Metaphorically. Not literally. Unless you count rushing to the train when I’m late. In that case, I’m an avid runner and should have my own Nike campaign by now.
When I say I love to run, I mean it like this -
(Listen until about a minute in and you’ll get the gist.)
I can go from 0 to 100 alarmingly fast. One minute my mind is calm, and the next minute my heart and thoughts are racing (hello anxiety!) and I would like everyone to leave me alone until the end of time forever and please God do not ask me to do one more single thing. Do not expect anything from me. Let me cocoon on my couch and watch hallmark movies and Gilmore Girls all day and pretend I’m living in Stars Hollow. Let me move to a distant, quaint, nondescript small town and start working in an inn. Let me float away and disappear and start fresh.
Let me stumble upon a brand new life because the green beans are taking too long to cook, and I have to unload the dishwasher, and my house is a mess, and I’m on the cusp of losing my ever living shit.
Anyone relate?