Allow Me to (Re)introduce Myself

A manifesto of who I am, this year and in this precise moment, as we celebrate one whole year of Wild Cozy Free

I wanted to wait until I was ready, but I know that’s not how I’m meant to start this journey.

Those are the first words I ever wrote here on substack, exactly a year ago, at the start of this Wild Cozy Free journey.

And oh what a wild, cozy, and free year it has been.

I thought long and hard about what I wanted to say to you today on this one year anniversary. Mostly, I just can’t believe it’s been a year!!

But also — I can absolutely believe it’s a year. A lot has happened this year.

I came to the conclusion quite quickly that I wanted to (re)introduce myself, as there are a lot more of you here now!

To refresh, this is how I first introduced myself to you —

Here are a few things you’d learn about me if we bonded at a dinner party —

I’m obsessed with Gilmore Girls.

Making reservations is my love language.

Cozy dinners or pizza on the floor > clubbing and going out late.

I’ve been a pescatarian since I was 17, and was a vegetarian for a year before that.

I was really shy as a child. Friends who have only met me in the past ten years or so have a lot of trouble believing that.

I grew up very religious (Baptist Christian), but I’m more spiritual these days.

I firmly identify as a 90s child, even though I was only a toddler for the latter half of the decade. I’ve always identified as a millennial. Particularly as an Elder Millennial (shoutout to Iliza Schlesinger) even though I’m literally on the cusp of Gen Z.

Here’s what you would learn about me if you opened up an alumni newsletter, attended a panel I was speaking on, or even met me in a theater lobby and heard my well-rehearsed elevator pitch —

“Alexa Juanita Jordan (she/her) is a writer, marketing consultant, and executive director of the Juanita James Memorial Scholarship Foundation (in memory of her late grandmother.) She writes about mental health, the grey area of the #metoo movement, reproductive justice, the COVID-19 pandemic, racial injustice, self-discovery, and more. Her work was recently published in Smith and Kraus’ Best Monologues of 2022, and Resistance is Fertile (a chapbook supporting reproductive rights.) She is also a 2022 Premiere Stages Semifinalist (35 out of 655 submissions.) Her plays have been produced at various theaters across both the Northeast and Midwest.

Alexa is on the board of directors at CultureHub, an art and technology community. She also enjoys volunteering with her alma maters.”

Everything above is still true, plus some new titles, interests, and revelations.

Because we’re all friends here - let’s skip the buttoned-up update and skip straight to a more relaxed catch-up. That’s how I’ve come to view this space anyway — a weekly opportunity to check in with you, and myself.

I’ll also add the word “truthful” to my description of this reintroduction. I really tried to center the truth of who I am, when deciding what I wanted to share about myself today.

How should you describe yourself? Who are you now? The voices in my head say.

Just tell the truth. A quiet, insistent voice says.

So, here’s the truth.

Here’s what you would learn about me if we were at a dinner party catching up on what I’m up to these days—

I don't fit into any boxes even though I've spent a large portion of my life trying to. I’m a coach and writer, but at the end of the day, I’m a storyteller. More details on all of this below - but the reader’s digest version is that you can learn more about my coaching here, sign up for my weekly discussion group, Authenticity Tuesdays here, and check out my new book here.

• I started my coaching business a little over half a year ago. In that time, I’ve worked with many clients to uncover what they really want from their lives. There are so many ways to describe what I do, but I think the best way to sum it up is that everyone I work with is trying to create a life that feels as good on the inside as it looks on the outside.

Here are some podcasts I’ve been on recently, where I’ve discussed my coaching journey —

• I created a downloadable journal/workbook called Authentic by Alexa to make my signature process more accessible.

• I released my very first book into the world this Spring. It’s called

  The Start Of It All. It’s a 20-something’s guide to resilience, empowerment, and authenticity. It’s full of questions exploring self-growth, community, career, dreams, and more. Each question is paired with a story straight from my 20s.

  

• I write a blog (this one that you’re reading right now!) that I’ve previously describe as a weekly exploration of the self underneath my roles. I’d probably amend that now to just say “my authentic self"

  I’ve been posting pieces that scare me lately. Essays and song/poems that make me go Wow, I really like this. But is anyone else going to like this  I frequently remind myself that the more personal someone’s writing is, the more universal I find it. Most of the pieces that I almost didn’t publish, have been incredibly well received. I am super grateful that I have found such a welcoming community here. Substack is 100% my favorite corner of the internet.

  To that end, here are the most-read pieces this year —

You’ll notice that a few of these pieces are behind a paywall. I have always had paid subscriptions open - but I officially started launching paid content a few weeks ago, and put some previously free content behind the paywall as well. I would be so grateful if you would consider a paid subscription if it’s feasible for you!

• I started a new series called What Authenticity Means To… where I have conversations with people who inspire me, about what authenticity means to them. (And I just organized all of these conversations under the same tag so that they’re easily findable! I feel so organized!)

I’ve talked to incredible fellow writers like

Donna McArthur

,

Julia Bedell

&

Kiera Russo

. I’ve had deep conversations with therapists about the psychological benefits of authenticity. I had a chat with a friend that started off being about somatic healing and ended up being about honoring your children’s authenticity as a parent.

So many incredible conversations are coming up soon — I had one yesterday and have two more coming up this week! Stay tuned - and let me know if you or someone you know might be intersted in this kind of conversation. This is absolutely one of my favorite parts of my life right now.

• I host a weekly conversation group called Authenticity Tuesdays —

I design prompts each week centered around how we can cultivate more authenticity in our worlds, and then we discuss them! It’s that simple.

Totally free. Come whenever you want. 8:00 - 9:00PM EST on Zoom.

• I’m a theater kid at heart. I used to be an actor, and I’ve written multiple plays. I was featured in the NYT in 2018 for my performance in There’s Blood at the Wedding. Work from my plays have been featured in anthologies like Smith and Kraus’ The Best Women’s Monologues of 2022 and Resistance is Fertile, a chapbook featuring pieces about reproductive justice.

So what do you do when you’re not working? What do you do for fun?

Someone asked me a version of this recently - and I responded truthfully, that I have been working a lot lately between writing and building out my coaching business. And honestly - I have been having a lot of fun! This is the first time in my life when work hasn’t felt like work, and I recognize what a privilege that is.

(But in terms of purely unproductive activities… I’ve gotten back into coloring and crafting a bit lately, and I also watch a lot of reality tv. Please let me know if you’ve watched the recent season of Love is Blind because I am still not over it.)

Here’s what you would learn about me if we decided to hang back at the bar, and keep chatting after the dinner party —

• I’ve gotten really into cult documentaries over the last year. Kiera and I talked about it during our What Authenticity Means to… conversation.

• I have a lot to say but I’m also a really great listener

• I surprise myself daily

• I’m forever grieving losses that have broken me apart, grounded me, sharpened my priorities and made me infinitely kinder and more patient. AND also more irritable at times. Grief made me sad, and then it made me angry. Someone moved my bag and coat off of my chair while I was in the buffet line at an event a few months ago, and I was filled with SO much rage. Maybe they had a good reason? I did not care. I was livid. I’ve realized that it’s easier to just let myself be mad at someone and then let it go, than it is to try to take a moral high road in my head AND also take the high road in real life.

  Letting myself feel that anger, and acting on it are two different things though. So, if I ever appear to be really calm and patient and Mother Teresa-like about something really annoying, know that I might be smiling on the outside, but I’m singing this song in my head on the inside.

• I’m quicker to laugh at myself than ever before

• I am fully, fully in the arena, as Brené Brown would say.

• I love learning from those who have gone through or are longing for a fierce reinvention. I think I got that phrase from

  Joy Sullivan
  - I’ve been listening to a lot of podcasts she’s been on lately and cannot wait to read Instructions for Traveling West.

• I want to help people uncover the story of who they are - through my blog, my coaching, my writing - everything. The more intentional we can be about the stories we’re telling, and the ones we have been telling — the more intentional we can get about where we’re going.

Here’s what you would learn about me if we came back to my place for a late-night snack on the living room floor afterward —

(This is such a hypothetical and wildly unrealistic scenario. I would be so tired after the dinner party. So much social interaction. This whole metaphor is just my way of demonstrating you how I peel back the layers and reveal more based on certain settings. If we’ve already gotten dinner and stayed out later in real life — the best I will do is text you for a while once I’m home and snuggled in bed watching Gilmore Girls!)

• I am far more capable, strong, and empowered than I give myself credit for. I’m getting better at talking about my strengths and accomplishments, but it’s still hard at times because limiting beliefs will chime in and tell me that I’m being too boastful.

• I’m committed to imperfection. Perfection is boring. My recovering perfectionist self had a really hard time wrapping her head around that.

• I secretly think that I can do anything. But I’m realizing that I don’t want to do everything. I’m getting a lot more selective about my energy.

• I crave the roar of the ocean and the gentle waves.

• I want to be held and free.

• I want to go on a big adventure and then be home by 7pm to watch Gilmore Girls reruns.

• I’m learning to honor my complexity as a human. This self compassion is helping me give more grace and compassion to other people than I ever have before.

• I am funnier than I let myself believe.

• I’m working really hard on fighting my people-pleaser tendencies as I learn to explore what’s right for me and set healthy boundaries. I have disappointed people close to me lately, instead of disappointing myself.

• I am no longer apologizing for being a deeply feeling person.

• I’m always committed to finding what’s underneath. I love going deep. In coaching, in casual conversations, and in life.

  Once in college, I was trying to get to know someone that I was doing a play with and it was taking longer than I wanted to really understand them and get a sense of who they were. I remember saying to a friend, “I just want to plop down on a couch with them and hear their life story and talk all night!” That sentence just about sums me up. I just want to plop down on a couch and listen to a great story and talk all night - whether that story is on the TV, inside a book, or right in front of me.

• I quoted a song from Cheetah Girls 2 in a coaching session recently (mine, not one where I was the coach) with such seriousness and earnestly. The quote was in reference to reconnecting with the fierceness inside of me. There is great power in vulnerability, and my vulnerability often yields a certain softness. But there’s a fierceness mixed in there too that I want to start giving more voice to.

• I held onto this quote for all of my teens and 20s - and I think I’m just starting to understand what it means.

"We are never doing anyone any favors by withholding our gifts from the world. It's scary to be fierce, but you can't compromise that for fear of losing those around you." - Idina Menzel 

And to that end… I am going on a big adventure soon. I’m not going to share the details yet (I myself, don’t even have all of them!) but I will eventually. It feels good to be getting out of my comfort zone and trying something new, just like I did when I started this blog.

And that leap of faith turned out pretty well, I think :)

---

Thank you SO much for being part of the Wild Cozy Free community. Can’t wait to see where the next year takes us.

And stay tuned for some bonus essay(s) later this week or weekend. Consider it an anniversary/birthday present!

The way I see it, it’s not just my substack anniversary - we’re celebrating together. You encourage me to be authentic and brave. You hold space for me to unfurl and be more and more of myself each day, as I continue to uncover who I am as I grow and change. I hope I can do the same for you, on and off the page.

This anniversary is ours. Here’s to us, and here’s to staying wild, cozy, and free.

PS Since this is a reintroduction post - I’ll drop my Instagram and website links here if you want to connect outside of substack!