Grown Up Eloise
On turning my fantasies into visions, and dreams into plans
Home don’t feel like home in a hotel room
Home don’t feel like home in a hotel room
I had to stay in a hotel unexpectedly recently, and the night before I checked out, I literally googled “how to make your house more like a hotel.” I love the JP Saxe song that the lyrics above are from, but I couldn’t agree with him less on home and hotel rooms.
I live for a good hotel. I love the crisp, white sheets, I love the cleanliness, I love the products. I actually sleep better away from home.
When talking to a friend about all of this, she suggested that I find the hotel’s signature scent. That might be helpful. But I don’t think that’s exactly it.
I wanted to get at the essence of why I love being away from home so much. What is it that I love about hotels so much? The sheets and scents help, but I think it’s something deeper that I can’t quite put my finger on.
During that hotel stay, I brainstormed all the things I loved about my hotel. I wrote the list below, on the hotel stationary pad.
not a lot - or any - clutter
clean space, clean/bare design
cool colors
fresh sheets
I feel very taken care of
everything I want at my fingertips
well thought out, careful, intentional design
nice mirrors
good lighting
newness
FRESH
depersonalized
feeling o luxury and vacation
everything chosen really intentionally
modern yet classic
quiet
bare but not empty
comforting
mid century modern
feeling of shoulders dropping
privacy
curated
new
well set up, maintained
fresh and clean
After making this list, I naturally segued into brainstorming what I imagine my life would be like if I was truly a grown up, real life Eloise, living in a hotel or an apartment exactly like one.
housekeeping everyday
I have access to kitchen if I want to cook, but I never have to do dishes
I have everything I need but it’s not cluttered
I have a slow wake up and coffee at my door each morning
day full of coaching, writing, grabbing a latte and milling about
dinner at simple + elegant restaurant
cab ride home reflecting on my day
evening shower with cranberry juice/la croix mocktail and a podcast
snacks and a movie
diffuser or candle in every room of the house
guest room always ready to go for my friends
outdoor space where I can host, and also grow seasonal fruits and vegetables (someone else helps me maintain it though, I literally can’t keep flowers alive for more than 2 days.)
blankets and pillows everywhere
kitchen you can dance in
Creating this list led me into a vision of what my life could be like, as a person living in this space that I’m envisioning so clearly. I had this sudden urge to flesh out who I would be, in this ideal life of mine.
I can see all the theater I want
I do podcast interviews with amazing thought leaders I love (Glennon, Brene)
I still have my blog
I’ve written a few novels
One or more of my books and/or plays are being adapted for TV/movies
I have homes in multiple cities and the budget to stay in nice hotels when I do long term work gigs
I have a supportive, emotionally mature, empathetic partner who loves my ambition
I give back to causes I care about
I go to yoga and visualization retreats
I host fun Friendsgivings in a Connecticut farmhouse
I’ve been an artist in residence at Public Theater
Plays in London and California
Wrote books and lyrics for a musical
Have a tony
Have a Pulitzer
All my plays have been staged and have major licensing
Strong boundaries to preserve my mental health
I am obviously (unfortunately) not going to move into a hotel any time soon. Even if I magically had that option, I don’t think that it’s actually what I want deep down.
What I want is a clean, intentional/well-curated, somewhat minimalist yet cozy space to live in.
What I want is financial freedom to take care of my needs and my desires.
What I want is to feel taken care of, and provide that sense of security for myself.
What I want, is to race in the direction of my wildly ambitious dreams, and believe in my ability to make those dreams come true.
A few months ago I wrote about escapism. And a key element of escapism is the ability to dive deeply into your imagination.
Imagination is not where we go to escape reality, it’s where we go to discover the truest reality that we were meant to give birth to in our short time on the earth. - Glennon Doyle
What if dreamers aren’t avoidant? What if we’re really good planners? We go to our imaginations to find out exactly what we want and then we go out into the world and start moving towards that thing. We picture exactly what we want, and then treat our dreams as a blueprint for our lives.
If you admit that you can imagine something more beautiful, that’s a scary admission because that means you might have to do something about it. So let’s not even worry about that yet. I think that the unseen order inside of us, it has to come to life one dimension at a time. It’s like an architect; they don’t dream of something and then start building. It has to come to life one dimension at a time, right? It’s a dream, it’s imagination and then it get written down on paper and then brick by brick it gets built, but one dimension at a time. So, let’s not worry about creating anything yet, let’s just wonder. Let’s just see if there’s a blueprint in there by asking ourselves what’s the truest and most beautiful life we can imagine? - Glennon Doyle
To those of you who are more comfortable living inside reality than your imagination - there is nothing wrong with that at all. The dreamers need the realists, and the realists need the dreamers. It’s not even as black and white as that; we can’t spend all of our time inside our imaginations or reality exclusively. I mean, you could spend your time in reality exclusively, but like….with the current state of the world I don’t recommend it. A little escapism or imagination time feels practically mandatory.
You could also technically spend all your time inside your imagination. You’d miss a lot of things out in here in reality though. Like kids from nursery school out for a walk in Central Park, wearing their adorable little safety vests. Or the way the air smells after it rains. Or crisp hotel sheets.
Being deeply present during my hotel stay and getting in touch with what I loved about those surroundings, led me to a fun fantasy of what my life could look like AND a vision for my future self. I grounded myself into reality, AND envisioned a future beyond my current circumstances. And I found a blueprint to bring back to reality with me.
And now it’s your turn. Try tapping into your own imagination this week. You can dive into a fantasy like I did, and see where that leads you, or dream up something else.
For my realists and/or people who consider themselves “less creative” — you are far more creative than you think.
If you need a jumping off point, here’s a question to get you going, straight from the book of Glennon.
“What is the most beautiful and true life that you can imagine?”
See you next week,
Alexa