New Year, Authentic You
What if instead of becoming brand new, you become more YOU?
Here we are in December. The most wonderful time of year.
Or as Amanda Doyle says, it’s just “the MOST wonderful time of year.”
AMANDA DOYLE
It’s the most of everything. It’s the most sounds, it’s the most people.
ABBY WAMBACH
Colors.
AD
It’s the most obligations, it’s the most …
AW
Lights.
AD
Expectations. It’s just most.
-We Can Do Hard Things Episode 154 - “Happyish Holidays: Our Top 3 Hacks for Hard Holidays.”
I can’t quite put my finger on the exact year that I went from blissfully loving the holiday season, to taking off my rose-colored glasses and having a bit more of a realistic view of this time of year.
Don’t get me wrong, I still love the holiday season. I love mulled cider, strolling around holiday markets, and putting up my Christmas tree in November. I start watching holiday movies in August. I will make fun of Hallmark movies AND cry at the end.
I’m also extra careful to take my Lexapro, vitamin D, and my brand-new iron supplement daily. I try to go for walks every day before the sun goes down at 4:15 pm, to combat seasonal affective disorder. And yet on those walks that are supposed to be helping my mental health, I somehow find myself listening to my favorite moody songs because they just seem to fit the bill.
I'll be fine and dandy
Lord, it's like a hard candy Christmas
I'm barely getting through tomorrow
But still, I won't let sorrow bring me way down
There’s just something about the winter months that makes everything all the drearier. It takes a herculean effort to get myself out of the house for evening events, even if I know I’m bound to have a good time. When it’s cold and dark, I just want to burrow up on my couch in a blanket forever, not put on a cute outfit, and be social at holiday parties. (But also, I LOVE a holiday party. I’m full of contradictions. Aren’t we all?)
The way that society is set up, we’re somehow supposed to go straight from having the “most” time of year from November - December, straight into being our very best brand-new selves in January. We’re encouraged to buy gym memberships, make ambitious resolutions, give up all of our old ways, and essentially optimize our entire lives.
I recently heard the phrase “temporal landmarks” for the first time, also dubbed the “fresh start effect” by researchers.
Temporal landmarks are dates or events that create distinct boundaries, separating our past selves from our future selves. Think of New Year’s Day, Mondays, or birthdays. These temporal landmarks serve as markers in time, offering a fresh start effect that can inspire behavioral changes.
I do love a new beginning.
I don’t love making changes in my life purely because it’s January 1st.
Like everyone reading this post, I have made and broken many New Year’s resolutions. I’ve set intentions for my birthday (which conveniently falls the month after New Years in February.) I’ve given things up for Lent. I’ll never forget when I gave up ice cream once in middle school, and a classmate screeched “Alexa what are you doing!!!!” when she saw me eating frozen yogurt in the cafeteria one day. It doesn’t count. I told her that, and continued eating my dessert. (For the record, if I could go back in time, I never would’ve even given up ice cream itself to begin with. I didn’t even fully understand Lent at that point in my life, and giving up a food group only fueled my eating disorder.)
Last year, instead of making resolutions, I chose words for 2022. A friend and I made vision boards to hang up in our homes. This felt like a softer, truer approach to the start of the year for me.
In the past, I’ve also written down things that I don’t want to take into the new year with me, and then ripped up the paper and thrown it away.
This year, I’m trying something new that feels more right than ever; bringing as much authenticity into the new year as possible.
For me, authenticity has been the key to feeling more human and alive, in my relationship with myself and others. It’s often regarded as being a buzzword and nothing more. It also happens to be the word of the year!
“Authenticity is a powerful word – with a powerful meaning – when used for its true definition…We can only begin to be ‘authentic’ when we know who we really are. So, take a look in the mirror. Are we the same person in the dark as we are in the light? Are we ‘true to ourselves’? I do not mean the ‘self’ we think we are – or the ‘self’ we want others to think we are… I mean the ‘self’ we really are. Do we have the courage to be that person – regardless of what we think the world/society/the Board of Directors, etc. expects us to be or how they expect us to behave? - Kristin Kaufman
I want to ring in 2024 committed to being who I really am, not a brand new self.
I don’t want to be new, in the bright and shiny traditional sense. I want to be more myself than I’ve ever been.
And yes, there is a newness involved in leaning into your authenticity. But it’s a different kind of “new.” Like the first cup of coffee in the morning “new.” And sunrise “new.” Not “I have to be a whole new person to find success” new.
Sound like something you’re interested in? I’d love for you to join me.
Every Tuesday from 8-9pm (EST) this January, I’ll be hosting conversations centered around cultivating authenticity, in a series called…
New Year, New Authentic You.
We’ll reflect on what authenticity means to you, what it would look like to show up more authentically in different areas of your life, and how to start moving in that direction.
You can come one night, or come all four. All on Zoom. Completely free.
Click here or email me at alexajordancoaching@gmail.com to sign up, so that you’ll get the welcome email when I send it out in a few weeks.
I’m also planning some additional offerings, so stay tuned for those announcements soon.
I’ll leave you with a few questions to ask yourself in the meantime. (Feel free to respond in the comments, or send me a message if you’d like to share your responses!)
What does it mean to be my most authentic self?
When and where do I feel like my most authentic self?
Who do I feel safe to be my authentic self around?
What gets in the way of being my most authentic self?
Hope to see you for “Authenticity Tuesdays”, as a friend has nicknamed the group!
For more of my philosophy on authenticity - check out the essays linked below.
PS - I already chose my word for 2024 - bet you can guess what is in one try.
PSS - now - January 31st, all paid subscribers will receive two 60-minute coaching sessions with me! Learn more here.
