Have you checked out New Yorker Goes West? I’m writing all about my new chapter in California, as a lifelong New Yorker.
This is not your average travel blog. This is an intimate look into what it’s like to leave the life you’ve always known behind and begin a new one, miles away.
Will I share great recommendations for fish tacos? Of course.
Will I tell you about my favorite comfort shows? Absolutely.
Will it all be sunshine and palm trees and smiles and Instagrammable selfies? Nope.
But yeah, there is quite a bit of sunshine. And palm trees. I’m a fan.
Melissa is an Accredited Financial Counselor® & Coach who walks alongside purpose-driven entrepreneurs in getting comfy with money, both in their business and personal lives. Her finance journey truly began once she realized that life after college couldn’t be forged on student loans and credit cards. She’s experienced various versions of self-employment for 16+ years, so her zone of genius is understanding the flow of money from the moment it enters the business to when it leaves the personal checking account. She's a full-time RVer with her husband, and their free time is spent on the lake or checking out the latest restaurant.
I grew up with a ‘finance bro’ / ‘man in finance’ long before those phrases rose to popularity.
My father used to be an investment banker…I think. It was definitely something involving investment, and he was definitely very good at it. He tried to explain it to me a few times and I never really understood.
I famously once told a grade school teacher “My mom is a teacher and my dad drinks wine.” Having now been a fourth-grade teacher, I know that must have been such a very fun call to make to my parents. Like YIKES. I really just thought that my father cooked dinner, paid the bills, and, was an avid wine enthusiast/collector. I had no idea how he actually made money and paid for things. I just knew that he did.
Despite growing up privileged and unintentionally aloof, I spent most of my twenties thinking I was “bad with money” and that everyone else understood more about it than me. I certainly felt underwater when I started my coaching LLC and had to navigate the world of taxes for entrepreneurs for the first time.
Melissa has given me all kinds of practical tools and exercises that I love, and beyond that — she has helped me heal and RADICALIZE my relationship with money.
She didn’t include this in her bio above so I’ll brag for her — Melissa paid off 47K of debt and saved 15K for her dream wedding all within three years!
You’ll hear us talk about how she’s proud of this - but also now recognizes that it wasn’t necessarily healthy to be as strict with herself as she was. I think that’s such an insightful and valuable reflection for anyone dealing with debt to have right now.
Whether you’re completely comfortable with your finances, have no idea what you’re doing, have credit card debt, or just want to gain some confidence and empowerment around money - Melissa is your girl. I’m so lucky to know her, and to finally share her with the Wild Cozy Free community.
Oh, and a fun fact I love about Melissa - she learned sign language in college to communicate with deaf students who lived in the dorm next to hers after they invited her to learn the language! She later went back to school to get her sign language degree and became an interpreter. Her first job was interpreting at a high school for deaf and hard-of-hearing students.
PS - If you like this podcast, consider becoming a paid subscriber of Wild Cozy Free, OR New Yorker Goes West for just $6/month or $60/year. Or, buy me a virtual “coffee” - which will likely go towards my credit card statement and not an actual coffee - unless I’m in a moment of not being strict with myself and actually get a coffee!
Melissa’s Money Tips You Can Use Right Now!
Check your credit report through all 3 agencies (Equifax, Experian, and TransUnion.)
Create a Money Mantra that works for you, not against you! Melissa’s example is, “I’m going to have my first 10K month in my business.”
QUOTES
“I went to college in the era where you could get a free pizza if you signed up for a credit card, which is now illegal.”
“I got this job that I love. I did all the right things. But I can’t pay for my life. It was this horrible sinking moment of ‘What do I do?’”
“You haven’t been in your 20s if you haven’t cried at work.”
“I said ‘no’ to some of things that I should have said ‘yes’ to, because I only had my eye on getting out of debt. I didn’t really have my eye on life. We can live life and make progress with our money at the same time.”
[From Ellevest Article below] “The financial services industry wasn’t built with women in mind. 95% of the women who answered selected “agree or strongly agree”, 5% said neutral, and not one woman disagreed with that statement."
“Consider your relationship with money how you’d consider a relationship with a best friend. you wouldn’t talk down to your best friend, you wouldn’t toss negative energy at your best friend. You’d want to be like, ‘Okay let’s talk, let’s share things; we’re not going to avoid each other.’ That’s how I like to help people visualize having an authentic relationship with money.”
“Money is not this meat and potatoes straightforward thing devoid of emotion. Like, you haven’t cried when looking at a checking account statement?!”
“Good people don’t have debt.”
TAKEAWAYS
Money is a vulnerable thing. Money is a vulnerable thing. Money is a vulnerable thing.
Debt can be healthy and positive! Yes, it’s true! Melissa thinks about debt shaming in the money industry like the fat shaming of the diet industry, and I couldn’t love that comparison more.
It is illegal for your boss to tell you that you can’t discuss your pay with other people.
There are a lot of people not looking at the numbers, who are afraid of their credit card bills. It’s not just you.
Consider how often you say “I can’t afford this” when you might really mean “I’m choosing not to pay for this.”
Consider what the language “that’s expensive” does to your brain + the connotations you have around this phrase.
We often can’t consider things that other people are doing, without bringing ourselves into it. (ex: Seeing a friend spend a certain amount of money on a trip and immediately saying, ‘I could never afford that.’ or ‘wow that’s expensive.’’)
You can invest AND save for retirement while paying off debt!!
LINKS
Is Being Debt-Free the New Rich? 7 Myths About Debt You Shouldn't Fall For
(Melissa is featured in this article above!)
Chapter from Alexa's New Book - Are You Being Paid What You Deserve?
Ellevest Article - Survey: 86% of Women Say Investing Makes Them Feel Powerful
Ellen Pompeo, TV’s $20 Million Woman, Reveals Her Behind-the-Scenes Fight for “What I Deserve” (which I discuss in my book!)
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